So, how’s your walk?
Typically, when I ask this question, I am referring to your spiritual walk in the Christian faith. But today I’m referring to how you physically walk.
How are you walking? This is one of the most neglected areas of focus in the feminine community, when it comes to outer feminine appeal.
A huge part of femininity, I will admit, is looking the part; however, for me the outer appearance is secondary when it comes to feminine education. If you haven’t read my article on my thoughts about femininity being an inside job, please see it here.
I had issues with my walk…
I participated in some modeling when I was younger. I’ve been scouted many times but never got into modeling because I did not see a purpose in it. I was young, skinny and a tom boy. I didn’t care about being a model, I didn’t even wear make up until my second year of college.
Before getting involved in local and regional modeling shows, I took some modeling classes where the teachers would explain how to cat walk; however, I still had my own “walk”. I didn’t realize until my mother pointed it out to me at a young age. She told me “You walk like you are in a hurry, that you are focused and don’t want to be bothered.”
I doubt she would remember telling me that, but I remember. I was maybe 14 or 15 years old, coming out of the local library where she was picking me up from, and she chuckled when she said it. I remember thinking to myself, “Well, I am focused and trying to get where I am trying to go.”
Why is it “important”?
I didn’t understand the importance of my everyday walk at that time when my mother pointed it out to me or when I started to do some modeling. For me, modeling walking or cat walking was only for fashion shows, not for everyday life. And this is true to a point…
While walking about in your everyday life, you don’t want to “do the most” in the effort to get attention. You would look pretty silly doing a model walk at the grocery store, going to your local pharmacy or walking down a lowly street. However, there is something to be said about having a unique walking style that is suited to you.
What are you communicating?
Did you know that about 80% of communication is non-verbal? That means most of the things that are said are not coming out of the mouth, it’s being signaled by body language. This includes your walking style.
What do you generally think when you see a woman walking down the street with her toddler, dragging him as she speeds along because the toddler cannot keep up? She is likely in a hurry or upset about something.
What does it mean when a woman walks with her head down (perhaps looking on her phone)? She could be afraid, depending on the situation. She may also lack confidence.
How do you see a woman walking by, looking straight ahead with ear buds in her ears? She likely does not want to be bothered.
Universally, ear buds in the ears is known to signal “don’t bother me” or “leave me alone”.
Do you know what you are saying with your walk?
One of the biggest issues I had with my walk was that I hunched my shoulders. A relative of mine pointed this out to me and I realized that I did hunch at times when I wanted to deflect attention away from myself. For me, being stared at is an annoyance…and is actually quite rude. So when I walked and noticed people staring, I would hunch my shoulders to make myself look smaller, but I realized this only made me appear less confident.
How much do you know about your walking style?
Just take a moment and walk how you would normally. How does your neck, back, shoulders and arms feel? Do you feel strain in anyway?
Do you walk with a slow or fast pace? Do you look down naturally or do you look forward and smile at people? Do you wear shoes that you can not walk in properly? Be honest! Not everyone is made to wear heels and you should know if you are one of those people.
Walking elegantly or femininely is about posture
Most of the time, poor walking style is a result of a poor posture. The basics of good posture is straightening your back, pushing back your shoulders and walking with your head up. This may be something you will need to practice everyday until it feels natural.
A way to check if you have good posture is to raise your hands straight up above your head. Stand with your back against a wall and slowly bring your arms down at your sides. You should feel your shoulder blades pressing slightly against the wall and your chest should be extended. If your shoulders are curved against the wall and your chest is caved inward, your shoulders are hunched and that is not good posture.
I learned this while in choir class in college. Good posture is not just great for sitting or walking, it is also good for singing, as an extended torso is good to bolster the diaphragm while holding long musical notes.
Take a couple minutes out of the day to roll your shoulders back. This will relax you. Then roll your neck slowly around in a circle each way. This may send you into a stretching fit, meaning you may suddenly have the desire to stretch your arms, legs and torso. Your body will wake up and welcome the movement.
Your walking style reflects your personality
People judge you. Not just on your walk, but on anything they know about you. You ever heard of the 30 second elevator pitch? It’s just a way of saying you only have about that much time for a person to assess you and make a decision if you are worth their time or not (in business).
Do you think a person who walks into an interview and then immediately trips over themselves and falls down will have a job offer by the end of the meeting? Likely not. (If they do, they must have had an awesome sales pitch!)
People will judge you by how you walk. (Refer to the examples above.)
Your personality will in large part determine your walking style.
Someone who is naturally confident is not going to walk around with their head down. The reverse applies to someone who is extremely shy. So, what are the different types of walking styles and some of the traits associated with each of them?
- Fast walker – Organized, extroverted, courageous, confident, dependable, disciplined, usually walks alone
- Slow walker – Cautious, introverted, compassionate, relaxed, calm
- Influencer – Springy, energetic, engages with people, natural leaders
- The stomper – Agitated, usually childish in behavior
- The multitasker – Unfocused, doesn’t waste time
- The relaxed soul – Great communicators, ideal walkers
- The thinker – Day dreamers, like to listen to music, walks alone
- The arm-crosser – Anxious, fearful
- Hands-in-pockets – Not open to the environment, doesn’t want to communicate
- The shuffler – Lethargic, emotional, worrisome, sad or depressed
- The fashion walker – Seductive, showy, long strides, show of confidence
Do you see yourself in any of these walking styles?
How you can walk in a more feminine way
Now that you know your walking style or have a better understanding of where you may need some improvement, here are a few tips to help you cultivate your unique feminine walk:
- Upgrade your posture – practice good posture by making sure your back is straight, shoulders are back and you head is up
- Do not exaggerate your arms – Keep them fairly close to your side, down but moving freely
- Practice putting one foot in front of the other – this may be the hardest part for most people, but doing this does add a natural sway effortlessly
- Do not walk with a space between your legs, even while turning and making pivots – Taking smaller steps appears to be more graceful
- Do not force your hips to sway, let them “switch” naturally – Unless your really trying to get attention from the opposite sex, you may not want to switch your hips. As a woman, you will get attention
- Be very light on your steps, walk forward and do not bounce – Try not to hit your feet hard on the ground, practice walking lightly
- Do not hurry! – You’re worth the wait, but be prudent
- Say hello to people, smile at them – This is business basics, but also shows that you are friendly and open
- Practice!
Bonus tip.
When you are standing in a line, perhaps at a grocery store, stand with one leg in front of the other. This will give you a nice silhouette and will make you appear dainty.
Exercising and stretching regularly will help you to be flexible and walk with a natural sway.
The most important part to a feminine walk is being confident.
Be confident in knowing who you are and that you are an important person in this world as a unique creation. Unfortunately, everyone does not have a heart of gold, and will treat you as good as how you look. (Think of a beggar on the street compared to a beautiful woman on the street. They will receive different treatment.)
If you believe you are somebody others will treat you accordingly.
Know it, embrace it!