Are you waiting for your “Boaz”?
Every single Christian girl who desires marriage will likely know who Boaz is from the Bible, and are waiting in hope to be found by a man with honorable qualities such as his. The person Boaz can be found in the Bible in the Book of Ruth. Throughout the Book of Ruth, Boaz was a kind and God-fearing man who was very generous.
Ruth 2:8-9 says,
“Then Boaz said to Ruth, “You will listen, my daughter, will you not? Do not go to glean in another field, nor go from here, but stay close by my young women. Let your eyes be on the field which they reap, and go after them. Have I not commanded the young men not to touch you? And when you are thirsty, go to the vessels and drink from what the young men have drawn.”(NKJV)
Where are all the good men?
In this society today, it seems hard to come across a righteous man. The world is going in a downward spiral taking its morals and ethics along with it. We wonder why we cannot find people with high integrity or standards, yet do not understand how the society, and our commitment to compromise with the world helps shape our poor decisions and our outcomes. As hard as it is to be found by a “Boaz,” it’s also hard for some men of character to find his “Ruth” or Proverbs 31 woman.
Many Christians reference Proverbs 31 as a great chapter that details specific godly traits for women and wives. You can read here for more information on what a Proverbs 31 woman looks like today.
What does the Word say?
Christians also reference Ephesians Chapter 5 for attributes of a good man (These qualities can be found in verses 25-33).
Ephesians 5:25-33 says,
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (NKJV)
These scriptures are great and promote a great foundation for a godly marriage that will last. (Oh, that we could find an Ephesians 5 man!) But what does the Book of Proverbs have to say about the character of a good man? Does the book that gives us Proverbs 31 also have traits and characteristics that helps single women to spot a potential husband after God? Of course! Proverbs is littered with suggestions and information on how to live godly at any age.
It’s a little tougher, but possible!
Just look at what is going on in the world: this person is getting divorced, that person is having an extra marital affair, this pastor got caught doing God knows what, and that man is now on his seventh baby mama…
In the black culture, “baby-mama-hood” seems to be a badge of honor. There are women, because of what they choose to expose themselves to, who believe that being one of many is better than having no one at all. (I’m sure you’ve heard the saying ‘A piece of a man is better than no man at all’.)
Young women everywhere are idolizing women who have low or absolutely no self-esteem, as evidenced in their behavior and what they allow in their lives. These young women are just waiting to give themselves to someone who promises them a happy ending. How many women do you know that are waiting (with poor motives) for a man that is rich or a wanna-be rapper, because that is all that is shown on the TV?
Let’s change the narrative
We as young women need to change the narrative of what a good relationship is like. Toxicity has been normalized, narcissists appear to run rampant in our community and manipulation is ruining intimacy and vulnerability.
It is not normal to always have to tolerate someone cheating on you.
It is not normal for you to be beat up on physically or verbally.
It is not in the Word of God that women should be footstools to men who do not know their own worth.
Marriage is still a good thing
The Word says that a man should love his wife….as he loves himself.
Ephesians 5:28-29 says,
“So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.”(NKJV)
This shows that men should also know their self-worth and practice self-love in order to love his wife the right way. Practicing self-love in a godly way evident in what is called the second great commandment.
Mark 12:30-31 says,
“And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment. And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”
Marriage is supposed to be a safe place.
Marriage is supposed to be enjoyable.
Marriage is supposed to positively affect your life and the community around you.
Marriage is supposed to make two people better and more productive together.
Your example matters
A part of what we can do as women is be an example. Be an example of morals and standards for the women and men around you. Be a light that shines bright. Let them see your good works and praise the Father above.
Matthew 5:16 says,
“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.”(NKJV)
Now, when God FINALLY sends you your “Boaz” (because let’s face it, some of us have been waiting a LONG TIME) you need to be able to recognize him. There are Ishmaels and Sauls that the enemy will also send – these are men who may have been an option but for some reason or another they did not measure up.
A note about “the one” theory
I believe God has multiple people that can be suited for you, although you may personally like one over another or one may “fit better” over another person. If “the one” you love is not up to God’s standards, God can send another. Is this biblical? Well, let’s look at two examples:
Ruth and Abigail
- Ruth was married before meeting Boaz. In chapter one of the Book of Ruth, it tells of how there was a famine in the land. Due to the famine, a man of Judah took his wife, Naomi, and her two sons to another country. It was here that Ruth married Naomi’s son and became her daughter in law. Now names are particularly important in the Bible. It is said that Ruth married Mahlon whose name means “man of weakness”. The name of the Naomi’s other son was Chilion, which comes from the root word meaning “to come to an end”. If you read the story you will find that Naomi’s husband dies as well has her two sons. Naomi returns to Judah to make a life for herself with Ruth by her side. Ruth helps Naomi by working the fields for their survival…..and Naomi helps Ruth by helping her get a man – Boaz! Boaz is a predecessor of King David in the Bible, who is a predecessor of Jesus. Yes, the Lord felt it necessary to use Ruth in His royal lineage!
- Abigail in the Bible was married to a man in the Bible whose name literally means “fool”. I told you names are important! (You can read her story in 1 Samuel 25.) Her husband eventually died as well and she became the wife of King David, “the man after God’s own heart”.
Both were wise and humble women who were married to men not suited for them for one reason or another. Their stories did not end because their husband died; God had another, and seeming better men, available for them the second time around.
A godly man is wise. Wisdom comes from God
So, how do you recognize the traits of a godly man? The Book of Proverbs helps us out.
Initially it seemed that Proverbs had little to say to the woman who sought to discern the qualities of a righteous man. In general, we can say that a woman should seek a man who is wise; we will only summarize them here. These seem especially applicable to marriage (all scriptures found in the Book of Proverbs):
- A wise husband is kind and compassionate (12:10)
- A wise husband is honest (28:23)
- A wise husband is hard-working (12:11; 27:23-27)
- A wise husband is truthful (12:17,19)
- A wise husband exercise self-control (16:32)
- A wise husband has a gentle tongue (12:18; 15:1-2,4)
- A wise husband is generous (14:21; 28:27)
- A wise husband is willing to be corrected, even by his wife, and listens to wise counsel (12:15; 15:31-32)
- A wise husband is a man of integrity (20:7)
- A wise husband is faithful and reliable (17:17; 29:3; contrast 25:19)
- A wise husband is forgiving (19:11)
- A wise husband is willing to admit he is wrong (28:13)
- A wise husband is humble (15:33; 16:18-19; 18:12; 29:23)
- A wise husband is not contentious, but a peacemaker (16:7; 6:1-3)
- A wise husband has a control of his temper (14:29; 16:32; 29:11)
- A wise husband is a man who avoids excesses (20:1; 23:29-35; 31:3-9)
- A wise husband has concern for others, especially the poor and the oppressed (29:7)
- A wise husband can keep a confidence (17:9; 26:20)
- A wise husband fears God and is obedient to His Word (13:13; 14:26; 16:20; 28:25)
- A wise husband is not an envious man (27:4)
- A wise husband has a positive outlook on life (15:15; 17:22; 18:14)
Keep these things in mind when meeting potential partners. Please share your comments below and please share :)!
No, your husband will not be perfect but he will be perfect for you. <3