92 percent of people, according to the University of Scranton, do not achieve their goals.
Other statistics say that 99 percent of people do not achieve their goals. No matter how you view these findings, the outlook is not in favor of productivity and accomplishment. But why is this? Why do most human beings fail at achieving their most desired objectives? Whether it is to: go back to school, get married, start a business, hit a target income, get the promotion, etc.
It’s not all your fault
As you might know, there are many reasons people fail in life other than pure laziness. Some obstacles cannot be avoided and force some dreams to be sidelined. This includes emergencies such as serious health conditions, crises such as natural disasters and traumatic experiences such as systemic racism that affects the lives of black people every day. However, we will not focus on these things in this article. We will focus, instead, on things that are within the power of every human being to achieve success.
Fortitude and grit
Can we talk about Simone Biles, who, although had a rough start and life and was adopted, did not let her upbringing paralyze her into thinking she was less than enough to achieve her dreams? Or perhaps Michelle Obama who inspired black women forever to come by becoming the first black lady of the White House? Or how Suzanne Shank came to be known as wall street’s trillion-dollar woman? These successful black women, who are among countless others, are doing huge things in the world we live in. But every one of them has failed in one area or another.
Yes, it is true. We all fail at something before we get it right. Failure is not something to be afraid of, it should be welcomed and learned from. Failure is a way to point you in a different direction; it’s a whisper that shouts to you “something needs to change”. Failure can only lead to success when it is accompanied by two things: fortitude and grit. (These two terms will remain in a category all on there on.)
Fortitude is strength of mind or character and of heart. It is courage amid pain or adversity.
Grit (psychologically speaking) is a positive, non-cognitive trait based on an individual’s perseverance of effort combined with the passion for a long-term goal.
Become legendary
In most legendary success stories, you hear of the ultimate successful accomplishment, but you also hear of the many failures or challenges or haunting defeats that occur before triumph comes. The failures and humiliating defeats often are what gives these stories meaning, and what encourage people the most. It inspires a person to think, “Hey, they tried and failed too. If s/he can do it, I can do it too!”
Think of one person you admire. Ten times out of 10 they will have a story of a time when they failed at something or a time s/he needed strength of mind and perseverance to make it through to success. With these things in mind, how do you use these traits and find yourself on the road to success? Here are eight things to know that will help you become a successful woman.
8 Steps To Help You Become Successful (In Your Own Terms)!
- Wake up early – I know, I know, I know, I know! You have enough to do, two jobs maybe, kids to take care of…. Why would you want to lose out on any amount of sleep? You need that! Girlfriend, I know and I understand, but this one thing could make a change in your life. Waking up early, around 4 or 5 a.m., is not the norm for most people who don’t have to be to work that early. Most people are dreaming away (like you) waiting to hit the snooze bell a few more times before you actually get up. Well sis, just get on up. Take this time to center yourself: read, meditate, pray. Whatever you feel you need to do to plan your day and organize your priorities. To do this, you need to go to bed at a decent time. I still struggle with this personally, especially during this pandemic! Get your eight hours of sleep but wake up bright and early to get off to a great start.
- Think about the end – What will it feel like when you achieve your goal? Can you see the day? Can you imagine it? What will you be wearing? What will you do to celebrate? Who will be with you? What day of the week will this be on? Imagine it! Even down to the weekday if necessary. Imagine the end results while reaching your goal. Continue to say to yourself, “I got this! I can do it. I’m making it happen. It’s only a matter of time.” When you have your goal in mind you can’t help but to get excited and remind yourself of all the reasons you decided to start making these goals in the first place. If you have decided to lose weight, buy a dress in your goal weight size and hang it where you can see it. Some may say that it is a temptation to look at the goal weight dress size and feel discouraged. But I am encouraging you to look at it as motivation to keep you moving forward. Another example is investing. If you have just started investing, just think of how much richer you’ll be because you stuck to your goals to invest $xxx a month. Think about your desires with the end result in mind.
- Accountability – You have to hold yourself accountable. While fortitude and grit are the main ingredients to success, accountability is a close partner that makes sure your character and integrity stay in high alert. If you find yourself slacking in an area that you really want to grow in, don’t ignore it. Explore it! Ask yourself “Why do I feel this way? Why am I slowly dropping off this?” Hold yourself accountable. If you have a true accountability partner, have weekly calls with this person to keep on top of your weekly, monthly, quarterly, and even yearly goals. Sisters helping sisters out, that’s what I’m talking ‘bout! Corny, I know but I just thought about it and it rhymes…and we certainly need more of it!
- Set SMART goals – Here we are pounding on achieving goals and we have not defined them yet. This is purposeful, because I want you to understand that your mind as to change in another direction first before you start making goals and tackling them. When you think of your goals think of SMART goals. These are goals that are: specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely; SMART! Here is some more information on SMART goals that you may find helpful. SMART goals were always a hot topic of discussion in business school. “Make sure your goals are SMART,” I would always hear. Learning this principle in school helped me a lot because it improved my performance in real life. In one job performance appraisal report it was documented that I am, “…very effective in managing [my] time to accomplish… tasks while also assisting [clients], requests from team members, etc.” This is because I created SMART goals to organize and execute my ideas. I continue to use SMART goals to this day.
- Emotional Intelligence (EQ) – As mentioned previously, fortitude and grit are needed for personal success. EQ or emotional intelligence is needed to handle personal relationships. While anxiety, depressive symptoms or other mental illness make it harder to master EQ, it is a “nurturing” concept, which means EQ allows you the ability to improve with effort. (This is in contrast to the “nature” concept where you would need to be born with this gift, according the psychological argument of ‘nature VS nurture’.) EQ is the capacity to be aware of and control and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judicially and empathically. It is how you see yourself and how you see the people around you; It’s how you treat the people around you. There are many books and articles touting the impressive facility of emotional intelligence; however, I have found an article that sums up the basics for you. Also, if you would like to know your EQ score, see Harvard’s recommended EQ tests that can be used for free.
- Keep great, encouraging, high-achieving people around you – You’ve heard the phrase “You are the company you keep.” If you feel you are stuck in life and not progressing, maybe it is because there are people in your life holding you back. Have you ever shared a great idea with a friend or family member only for it to be torn down by them? Ever feel like a million bucks until you enter the presence of a particular person? Do you ever feel like you limit yourself to make others feel better being around you? Well sis, you need to level up! This may come in the form of dumping friends altogether (if it is that serious), or it may be a gradual process. Either way, PURGE the negativity out of your life and move up in life. I had to do this when I first started seeking God for myself at 19 years old. At the time, I was going to clubs and hanging out every weekend, then a car accident made me shift my thinking to my mortality and what God may have been saying to me. From there I decided to follow Christ and, in the process, painfully cut ties with people I enjoyed being around. Different kinds of people attract different things in life and it all stems from the heart. This may seem other-worldly or too worldly and secular, but it is actually spiritual (Proverbs 4:23). Also, God did not make you an idiot. He told His followers to be harmless as doves, but wise as serpents (Matt 10:16). So, when you see…no, when God SHOWS you who a person is BELIEVE HIM! (This is a variation of a famous quote from Maya Angelou.) Then, quietly move on to achieving your purpose in life. Negative, hard-hearted and jealous people can hinder your progress, stunt your growth and even kill you if you let them. See people for who they are and not who you want them to be. Always talk to God about what you should do about a specific person if you are unsure. God cares about you, but He also cares about them. So, if you decide to leave, do so amicably. Your life is a no bitterness zone!
- Read more books – Research results from the Department of Education and Early Childhood Development and the Melbourne Institute of Applied Economics and Social Research found that the frequency of reading to children at a young age has a direct causal effect on their schooling outcomes, regardless of their family background and home environment. Mind development does not stop at elementary school level. To be successful and make SMART goals, your mind has to be in great shape. With age comes a decrease in brain function; however, a study published in Neurology shows that reading may slow the process of mental decline, keeping the mind sharper for longer. Reading also helps you to expand your vocabulary as well as expand your thinking processes, which will help you create and manage your life goals. So, break out a good book, kick up your feet and dive in! You will thank yourself later. (I just finished reading A Woman’s influence by Tony and Sherry Gaskins. I started reading an old book that I found in a storage bin in my closet entitled Think and Grow Rich, A Black Choice: A Guide to Success for Black Americans.)
- Help someone else along the way – Have you ever heard the phrase, “Learn like you have to teach it to someone else.”? Maybe in school you sucked at taking notes, but if you knew Big Bully Sarah was going to want your notes for the test, then you made sure they were legible, ivy-league quality with the appropriate citations. Successful people stand out because they don’t keep their success to themselves. You get more when you begin giving stuff away. What you get back does not always come in the form of what you gave away. On your journey to success, give to those who need your help, whether it be your wisdom, expertise or good advice. You don’t always have to give money. Give a bit of time and your knowledge; this could be what your friend, sister or brother really needs. Share the wealth and it will come back to you.
So, using fortitude and grit as your anchors, use these eight principles to take you farther along into your destiny.
Make a comment and share your thoughts!