Is it just me or have you also felt the sting of silence after praying and crying out to God?
Have you turned to God in utter desperation only to feel completely ignored?
Have you felt lonely as a Christian?
Have you felt like you have been wandering around spiritually or felt lost because you no longer know what to do in life? If so, I get you.
My Walk – Footsteps in the Rain
If I can be honest, depression and anxiety plagued my walk with Christ. I felt like I never knew enough of the Bible or I felt I did not understand it enough. When I first started seriously walking with God, I did so wholeheartedly and even stopped hanging out with certain friends.
When I started to fully submit to the Word, I looked to many sources for information, including Christian television (which was a mistake!!!). I was so hungry for the Word. “What does God want me to do?” I would ask myself (and God) all the time.
A little history…
I grew up in church. My mother was raised in church and my grandmother had a church where my mother grew up. My mom passed her love of God to her children and took us to church every week when she could. As my siblings and I got older, we started taking the church bus on our own to a congregation in the neighboring town in a predominately white community.
As we grew into teenagers, we found no place for us there and grew disconnected. The disconnect seemed to grow more and more prominent. I found myself as teenager and young adult going to church by myself, as my siblings got caught up in other things.
I began to also experience a strong detachment to that community and the message there, as it seemed the message was not directed to me. I would sometimes just go to put my tithes in and sneak out the back. The church didn’t notice. This was at a crucial time transitioning from high school to college. It was then that I started to go to clubs.
“Work hard, play hard” was my motto.
My clubbing days didn’t last very long. As I graduated high school and started college, I had a summer full-time job and a part-time job. I felt with all that hard work, I needed a little play. So, my good friend at the time would borrow her mom’s car and we would go to a club in Philly every Saturday.
We would come back about 12:30 AM or 1 AM tired from dancing all night. We finally found a club that stayed open until 3 AM and danced the night away. It wasn’t until one night after dropping off another friend that my good friend fell asleep while driving. We crashed into a ditch. Someone in a house nearby heard the crash and called the police.
Standing there looking at the mud on the car and seeing the police there, I knew I was being sent a message. This is when I started my journey with God.
The desert is worse than the wilderness.
Throughout my walk, I have seemed to venture through many lonely and dry seasons that seemed like deserts, not wildernesses…because at least the wilderness had some shade.
But even in this time God was showing me how to trust His Word and not His hand – that even if I cannot feel or sense Him around, I should still believe – even when things do not go my way. He can still work situations out for the good, and the pain has a purpose. Although most don’t acknowledge it, God may be the one inflicting that pain. Lamentation chapter three helped me a lot during these times…
God always does good for us, not bad, right?
It’s not popular to hear that God inflicts pain strategically to his children for a purpose. You will not likely hear that in church. In fact, many things I learned in church seemed to hinder my process in the Lord, as many churches seem to focus on feelings and not faith.
As I spent more time with God, He showed me how to endure – the constant waiting, the disappointment, the overwhelming fears, the lack of progression, the spiritual harassment – by seeing the faithful stories of men in women in the Bible. These men and women include Abraham, Joseph, Ruth and the Prophet Elisha.
These particular characters in the Bible stick out to me because of the lack of self-inflicted drama and obedience. Most of their stories include plain old-fashioned consistency and no-fluff obedience. You know, the boring stuff. Although some of the stories include interesting plots, most of the drama in their lives were inflicted on them through their obedience or by the people around them.
Abraham – The Father of Israel
Abram or Abraham, the father of the faith, was chosen by God to start a nation. Not just any nation, but a people set apart for God. He heard God call out to Him to go, so he went, not knowing where he was going, as mentioned in Hebrews 11:8 (KJV):
By faith Abraham, when he was called to go out into a place which he should after receive for an inheritance, obeyed; and he went out, not knowing whither he went.
It was written that God chose Abraham because of his obedience. Genesis 18:19 (GW) states:
I have chosen him so that he will direct his children and his family after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just. In this way I, the Lord, will do what I have promised Abraham.
God surely tested his obedience!
Abraham wanted a child in his late age and God had promised him he would be a “father of many nations”. God even changed his name from Abram to Abraham in Genesis 17:1-6 (KJV):
And when Abram was ninety years old and nine, the Lord appeared to Abram, and said unto him, I am the Almighty God; walk before me, and be thou perfect. And I will make my covenant between me and thee, and will multiply thee exceedingly. And Abram fell on his face: and God talked with him, saying, As for me, behold, my covenant is with thee, and thou shalt be a father of many nations. Neither shall thy name any more be called Abram, but thy name shall be Abraham; for a father of many nations have I made thee. And I will make thee exceeding fruitful, and I will make nations of thee, and kings shall come out of thee.
Although Abraham had a few hiccups here and there, he tried to follow the Lord wholeheartedly.
As the story goes, Abraham waited and waited for a child to come, but it did not come. In the meantime, Sarah (formerly known as Sarai), his wife, was over waiting. She decided to tell her husband to sleep with another woman to conceive a child.
Yes, she said this, and back then there were certain traditions that allowed this to happen. Now Sarah was a ride or die! 
Sarah lacked faith, Abraham was steadfast.
It’s poignant to note that Sarah is the one that recommended that her husband sleep with another woman, not Abraham, not God. Sarah said this in Genesis 16:2 (KJV):
And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the LORD hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai.
So, who had the faith here? Abraham believed, but harkened to his wife’s instruction anyway. Sarah showed that she suffered from a generational curse, as Eve also recommended that her husband Adam do something that was not approved by God to do. (Ladies, if God has a desire for you or your husband, don’t get in the flesh and ahead of God. You might end up regretting it, just like Eve and Sarah did!) However, Abraham also seemed to suffer from the generational curse as well, as he (just like Adam) did not refute his wife’s terrible suggestion.
From the union between Sarah’s maid and Abraham came a whole other nation that is not of Israel, but of Islam (Ishmael). Abraham’s story shows the faithfulness of one man to hold on to God even when it seemed hopeless.
Abraham and Sarah did finally conceive a son, Isaac. God tested Abraham again and asked him to sacrifice his son Isaac. (Please read Genesis chapter 22.) Abraham obeyed God and was going to sacrifice his son, but God stopped him. God wanted to see if he would be obedient. Because of this, Abraham is called the “Father of Faith” and is mentioned in the “Hall of Faith” in Hebrews chapter 11. He was able to press on with God.
Joseph – A Ruler in Chains
Joseph is one my favorite stories, because it portrays the redemption of God’s people and God’s forgiveness. Joseph is the great-grandson of Abraham, and his father’s favorite son. Since he was the favorite, his eleven brothers hated him – they hated him so much that they sold him into slavery. (Please read Genesis 37:18-36.)
Joseph didn’t ask to be in that predicament, but he was nonetheless. Going from the favorite child to the foreign slave can be tough and confusing for anyone, especially after Joseph received dreams from God that he would be someone important. In Genesis 37:5-9 (KJV) it states:
And Joseph dreamed a dream, and he told it his brethren: and they hated him yet the more. And he said unto them, Hear, I pray you, this dream which I have dreamed: For, behold, we were binding sheaves in the field, and, lo, my sheaf arose, and also stood upright; and, behold, your sheaves stood round about, and made obeisance to my sheaf. And his brethren said to him, Shalt thou indeed reign over us? or shalt thou indeed have dominion over us? And they hated him yet the more for his dreams, and for his words. And he dreamed yet another dream, and told it his brethren, and said, Behold, I have dreamed a dream more; and, behold, the sun and the moon and the eleven stars made obeisance to me.
However, Joseph was a slave in Egypt for 12 years! I’m sure during that time, God was working in him, and he kept his integrity.
God was using the time of suffering for a greater purpose.
Even as a slave God allowed Joseph to be promoted and to be master over his “master’s” house. God blessed him in his apparent suffering. But that’s not all. To make matters worse, Joseph was falsely accused of assaulting his master’s wife and was sent to prison! I’m sure, Joseph wondered, “Where is God?” However, God still blessed him, and he had favor. Genesis 39:21 (NIV) states:
The LORD was with him; he showed him kindness and granted him favor in the eyes of the prison warden.
Joseph, after spending 12 years as a slave and in prison, was exalted to be a ruler in Egypt. God was preparing him for management and leadership on a national level. Through this promotion, Joseph was able to use the resources of Egypt to save his family who was suffering from a famine at that time. Yes, the same family that sent him into slavery!
Joseph is a typecast of Jesus Christ, and just like Joseph had to forgive his brothers for selling him to slavery, Jesus offered forgiveness to His people for selling Him and handing Him over to be crucified (See John 19:11). God also extends his mercy through this story by extending salvation through Christ, much like Joseph was used to save many lives in Egypt during the time of famine.
Ruth – The Beautiful and Faithful Widow
Ruth is a beloved character because of her devotion to Naomi. However, not many understand that Ruth’s devotion to Naomi was really a surrender and devotion to Naomi’s God. In Ruth 1:16 (KJV) it states:
And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God…
Ruth and another woman named Orpah were women of Moab. They were married to Naomi’s two sons Mahlon and Chilion. Naomi’s husband, Elimelech, moved his wife and two sons to Moab due to a draught in their land in Judah. While living in Moab, Elimelech, Mahlon and Chilion all died, leaving Naomi, Ruth and Orpah widows. Heartbroken, Naomi decides to go back to her land in Judah. She tells her daughters-in-law to stay in Moab and start families of their own. Orpah and Ruth insisted on staying with Noami, but after Naomi tells them again to go back to their families, Orpah agreed and left to go back to her family.
Why Ruth and not Orpah?
However, Ruth was touched by something. She could not go back to what she knew before knowing about the God of Israel. She knew something was different. She saw Naomi’s character, but not just that, she experienced the traditions and the touch of Naomi’s God and vowed to follow her back to her land. Ruth 1:17-18 (KJV) states:
Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the Lord do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me. When [Naomi] saw that she was stedfastly minded to go with her, then she left speaking unto her.
Naomi mentions in verse nine that both Orpah and Ruth were very kind to her and her sons; however, Ruth only continued with Naomi. Ruth’s determination to serve God and people lead her into a family tree that has been talked about for centuries. It is the family tree through which Jesus Christ was born. Ruth 4:21-22 (KJV) shows the lineage:
Salmon the father of Boaz, Boaz the father of Obed, Obed the father of Jesse, and Jesse the father of David, the King.
Ruth married Boaz and produced Obed. King David is a progenitor Jesus Christ. Ruth’s obedience and faith allowed her this privilege to be included in this royal family tree – even as an outsider to the people of Israel.
Elisha – The Double-Anointed Prophet
The Prophet Elisha seemed to come out of nowhere in the Bible. We find Elisha being called to the ministry while he was at work plowing in the field. (He was busy doing something when God called him. God can call someone at any time.) 1 Kings 19:19-21 (KJV) states:
So [Elijah] departed from there, and found Elisha the son of Shaphat, who was plowing with twelve yoke of oxen before him, and he was with the twelfth. Then Elijah passed by him and threw his mantle on him. And he left the oxen and ran after Elijah, and said, “Please let me kiss my father and my mother, and then I will follow you.” And he said to him, “Go back again, for what have I done to you?” So Elisha turned back from him, and took a yoke of oxen and slaughtered them and boiled their flesh, using the oxen’s equipment, and gave it to the people, and they ate. Then he arose and followed Elijah, and became his servant.
Elisha become The Great Prophet Elijah’s personal assistant towards the end of his ministry.
Diligent search and determination are rewarded.
I do not believe Elisha would have been given his ministry had he not pressed on with Elijah. Just like Naomi and Ruth, Elijah told Elisha to stay and not follow him when he was going to be taken away by God. 2 Kings 2:1-2 (KJV) states:
And it came to pass, when the LORD would take up Elijah into heaven by a whirlwind, that Elijah went with Elisha from Gilgal. And Elijah said unto Elisha, Tarry here, I pray thee; for the LORD hath sent me to Bethel. And Elisha said unto him, As the LORD liveth, and as thy soul liveth, I will not leave thee. So they went down to Bethel.
Elijah told Elisha to turn back three times, in verse two, four and six. And each time Elisha told Elijah that he would not leave him. The same thing occurred with Naomi – Naomi told Ruth to leave her many times, but she would not leave.
This “cleaving” is what God through Christ is asking of us. Even though circumstances can be difficult, like it was in each of these stories, God is looking for those who will “cleave” to Him. He wants us to cleave like Abraham did, like Joseph did (and kept his integrity), like Ruth did and like Elisha did.
There are other examples of cleaving in the Bible, including the story of the disciple Peter, who Christ asked three times if he loved him in John 21:15-18. Although Peter denied Christ three times, Jesus confirmed that Peter was forgiven by confirming his love three times. But it also shows God’s desire for Peter to be fully committed to Christ and the mission, as he would face many trials.
God wants us to “cleave” to Him, like a husband to a wife and wife to a husband.
Although these stories are vastly different, they each tell how persistence, especially in difficult times, reveals our own hearts and character. It also reveals God’s character, as he ultimately rewards those who diligently seek Him, in this life or in the next (Hebrews 11:6). The ultimate reward of seeking God is knowing Him and the power of His resurrection.
I want to encourage you to keeping pressing forward in your faith in Christ and look to Jesus, the author and finisher of your faith (Hebrews 12:2).
Philippians 3:12 (NKJV):
Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.
God Bless!